"Quest" Goldfield Question Authority 10/22/02 - 12/11/2014
Not that Pirate and Journey don't give me inspiration, just that writing and going through pictures to post, all lead me back to our boy who is missing. I have not healed from our loss. Not sure if I ever will, but I am managing to move on with a little help from my friends.
The pictures above were taken not quite two weeks before we lost Quest. They were on my phone. They will probably always be on there, although it makes me cry most times when I look at them. Quest doesn't even look sick, to me he just looks beautiful and our relationship does not feel completed. Something feels wrong and unfinished.
Well, I didn't start this to write a sad story. What made me want to write was the transformation I have been watching, in the alpha order of our pack. First I need to start with Spirit, my first White Shepherd. He was a dream of an alpha dog. He never hurt another dog. He was never in a fight. He was not aggressive, and he did not throw his weight around. If he did not like the way a pack member was behaving, he simply gave that dog "a look". That was enough. They respected him and he knew it. If I told a dog to do something, or not do something, Spirit watched the dog intently and if it did not comply, he enforced it with "the look" or maybe a shoulder bump. He even used that look on other dogs in the park when we took our morning walks before I went to work. He was a natural born care-taker. When my Standard Poodle was losing her eyesight, he became her seeing eye dog. He walked shoulder to shoulder with her. If he lost sight of her, his urgent mission was to find her. She always stood still and waited for him to find her. Then as he greeted her, her confidence would return and she picked up her pace at his shoulder.
Diva & Spirit
When he was around my elderly mother, he blocked the other dogs so they could not bump her when she was walking. I believe he could read my mind and he was my right hand, all his life. When he died at 14.5 years (a little over 3 years ago), I was devastated, but I knew it was time. For all of Quest's life I guess Spirit had been grooming Quest to take over. He did and the take over was seamless. He changed from a happy-go-lucky mischievous boy to a wise teacher and protector of our pack. It was amazing to watch. Although he never quite mastered "the look", he enforced his leadership with a very loud and deep bark. Feeling his competence and seeing the things he had learned from Spirit made me almost feel that Spirit was still around and guiding us. Quest still had his special times when he reverted back to his carefree self, the younger guys loved it when he did this and they would play like three wild puppies.
When Quest died last December, and since then, the feeling is very different. I don't feel like we were prepared. At least I wasn't. Pirate is 7 years old and he is an amazing dog. He is very smart. He is funny and fun-loving. He is a bit bossy with Journey, but he knows when to back off. He does funny things like ... he will take a toy from Journey, and if I give him a look, he will throw it back at Journey. Sometimes he takes a toy and Journey will just look sad - so Pirate will go right to him and give it back on his own, without me saying a word to him. Sometimes when I tell Journey to go get a certain toy, Pirate runs ahead and gets it for him and actually gives it to him. Pirate is big and strong and he does not back down when taunted by the dogs across the road. Quest had always handled the verbal argument with them before, but Pirate is up for it. He took over that task immediately when Quest died. However, now he has encouraged Journey to do it and while Journey runs to the fence and verbally answers the threats expressed by Rocky and Kona, the German Shepherds or Cody the Labrador, Pirate comes back to play ball with me.
When the UPS truck stops at our driveway, Journey is the one who meets him at the gate now. I think Pirate did it for about a month, then he just handed over the job to Journey. There are things that Pirate still handles, and he does intently watch Journey - I guess to see that he is doing it right. Journey used to stay inside with me when something outside was scary. In fact Quest would run at him when he was a puppy and make him go inside. Now Pirate has begun poking him with his nose and Journey will go out alone to handle situations that need barking at. So from what I see now, they are compatibly sharing the job of alpha dog - pack leader. Or maybe Pirate is just beginning the training for Journey's destiny.
Journey used to be a little shy, (probably due in part from the other guys babying him) but as of about a year ago he started changing. Now he is aloof, but he does not hesitate to be protective. Competing in agility has given him a lot of confidence in himself. One thing I taught him, when he was not showing much interest in people who wanted to meet him, was to shake hands with them. It totally helped him, as it is an action initiated by him and he knows how people are going to respond. He ended up liking it so much that he occasionally offered his paw to strangers, on his own. Most people found it endearing and he almost became a social butterfly. Much nicer than dodging people who wanted to meet him. He prefers to initiate the greeting and that is okay with me as I know he is not super fond of people patting him on the head. So this way he avoids that. He will tolerate it if I encourage him, but he would prefer a handshake. He is a character.
Well, at the last agility competition Pirate came with us. I don't like leaving either of them home alone for an entire day, since we lost Quest. We were sitting in the stands at one point and they were getting their normal amount of attention. People are always so attracted to the whites. While I was sitting and talking with a friend, I turned to check on the boys, they were busy introducing themselves to anyone who would stop when walking past us. And right up front was Pirate offering his paw to everyone who even looked like they might stop. He was completely overshadowing Journey, as he is more social than Journey normally is anyway. Journey didn't really care, though having Pirate there made him a lot more social also. It was fun to watch. They are quite a pair and the crowd loved them. I enjoyed that Pirate had learned this from Journey. It is interesting to note that their outgoing behavior is not this common in other surroundings.
Pirate & Journey
I have no idea if they are sharing the alpha position, or if this is just a different way of being alpha, on Pirate's part. Kind of the Tom Sawyer approach to painting the fence. I mention that because of the new game Pirate has devised. Sometimes they gather one or two Jolly balls and take their party to the top of the stairs in the entry hall. Pirate chews on a ball for a while and then he throws it down stairs and he looks at Journey. Journey watches, but does nothing until Pirate pokes him. Then he goes down the stairs and retrieves the ball, for Pirate. I don't know the rules to this game. I have watched it numerous times, but I am still not certain what determines whether Pirate wants Journey to get the ball or why he gets it himself sometimes. I find their interactions fascinating. I love to watch them, especially when they don't know I am watching.
Ambush!
The watchers.
Some days they take off together, and they head down to the front fence line. They sort of frolic together, into the woods. Sometimes they stay in there for a while, and sometimes they seem to be playing hide and seek around the trees. Other times Pirate will come out of the woods first and head across the lawn. Journey will hurry to catch up, occasionally stopping to smell something or chase a butterfly. If it looks like he is having fun, Pirate might join him. At times they look up toward the house to see if they can see me at the window or on the deck. I try to hide as it is fun to watch them when they don't know I am watching. Eventually they come back to the house and I hear the flap of the doggy door. They come in like little kids who have been playing in the woods. "Can we have a cookie mom?"
These dogs give me so much joy and so much love, I am happy to spend the rest of my life trying to give them even a small part of the happiness they give to me. Since our pack is now very small, I have been thinking that perhaps another pack member might be just what we need, sort of a project we can share. Three is a good number for me. I can take everyone with me when it works for us. Or I can leave two home together and have a special one-on-one day with a dog on alternate days. More details on our prospective new pack member will follow as the process becomes closer to being realized. It will be a male, and he will be a puppy, so that we can mold him into the pack member he will need to be. I know he will be a happy pup, because every pack member we have ever had loves our life. It is full of camping trips, hiking, swimming learning things, sports and closeness. He has two very special brothers just waiting to welcome him.
What a joy it would be to see a vision like this once more.
