Pirate was thinking he would like to get out of the car.
One day we were all in my car, driving around town, running errands and such. I had noticed, for a awhile, that the car could really use a bath. I really don't mind washing the car myself, when it is not too cold outside. However, the interior is a different story. It always seems to take forever with the vacuum and all the equipment necessary to get it cleaned out.
I need to mention that I used to work in the legal department for a man who owned a car wash and a bunch of restaurants. One of the perks was that I got free car washes. That created a habit that was not easy to break - so as I was driving on a busy street in the northwest, I noticed a carwash - and thought 'why not?' - at least it would look clean on the outside. This carwash was a ride-through. I never gave it a second thought.
I pulled in, paid, settled in for the ride through and decided to read some mail. That lasted for about thirty seconds, maybe. Then the water jets hit us from all sides. It came to me in a rush, my boys had never, ever been in a car that went through a car wash. Their teeth were gnashing at the windows, with saliva running down the glass. Just then the spinning bumper brushes took over. At this point the dogs were doing hysterical laps around the interior of my Subaru wagon, while they frantically barked at the monster that seemed to be devouring us alive. They landed on my head, my shoulders, the dash, over the seats and back again. I guess they were trying to protect me, or jump ship, but it felt like they were trying to kill me. I was getting clawed as they scrambled over me. Next came more water jets, then the hanging clothes slapping at the entire car, from every angle.
Funny how I had never considered these things as looking scary. They definitely looked scary now, as I viewed them from the dogs prospective. And they could not have any good intentions, slapping our car the way they were doing. Momentarily I thought about escape, but of course it was out of the question. I could not open the doors. I tried talking to them, but they were beyond that... they probably thought we were doomed to die in the Subaru. The attendants would probably just get a crane and bury us in the Outback, clawed and frightened to death in our automobile tomb.
Well, it was not over yet. I managed to get my jacket and cover my head. More water jets, probably the wax coat ... it had seemed like a good idea at the time. All the time, the dogs were barking so loud that I could hardly hear the machinery. This was the longest car wash I had ever been through and it wasn't done yet. Now was the air tunnel. OMG, what next. I had never paid that much attention before.
As we came out into the sunshine, even the strangers near our car were not as upsetting to them as what we had been through. I glanced in the mirror. I only recall looking like that once before. It was when I was in Hawaii and we went to the Nu'uanu Pali Lookout on a very windy day. Of course I was not covered with scratches from that experience.
I cannot imagine what the attendants thought as they possibly contemplated the before and after views of this customer. I mean, we were actually only in there maybe 3 minutes at the most! I was a bit shakey and really just wanted to go home. The dogs were all sort of stunned silent.
We have never been back. I have never had my car washed since that day. I probably never will, unless I should happen to think of it sometime when I am alone. Of course then it would probably start me laughing, just thinking about it - a day to remember!
