It has been a year of firsts:
First time we camped at Gray's Harbor fairgrounds without Spirit. He especially loved the time when the event we were attending shared the fairgrounds with a goat show. He never forgot it and at each subsequent visit he looked for the goats.
First Easter Egg Hunt without Spirit. He still holds the record. He would just move along at his own pace, collecting egg after egg. He opened them and ate the snack inside, then moved on to the next one. It appeared effortless when he did it.
Spirit out front, hunting eggs.
The first time we went on a camping trip without him. No one argued over the co-pilot seat. No one was sure who it belonged to now though ... and it really did not seem quite as wonderful or special, when Spirit was not there to dictate who used it.
He never pushed to get out of the motor home ahead of everyone. He knew he was going ... if anyone was going, and he just waited for what he knew was due to him. If he found someone in his seat, he simply stood patiently, waiting for them to realize they did not belong in it. A look from him was all it took.
When something, or someone needed to be barked at, the young guys always looked to Spirit so he could let them know how serious it was. Quest is doing a pretty good job of managing this chore lately. He will get better at it. Journey has taken over the front fence watch. Pirate goes between checking on me or helping Journey.
The first time a skate boarder, wearing a hoodie clattered past our car at a stop light, the other boys were frantically looking in all directions. They did not really care about the skate boarder, or his dark hoodie, but they knew someone needed to bark at him. So Quest has taken over that job for now. However, since he does not really care about them, he sometimes forgets. I notice that Pirate and Journey both turn to look at him intently, until he barks. I am letting them work this one out.
I miss the way Spirit sat so regally in his co-pilot seat, beside me. I always enjoyed the way he semi-ignored anyone who occupied the lane next to us. He looked at them, but only out of the corner of his eye. What made him do a slow burn, was if they pointed at him. Spirit seemed to think pointing was rude. If the pointing went on very long he sometimes growled low in his throat. I explained to him numerous times that they were admiring him. He was not going for it.
Spirit loved Hans, and raised him from a tiny puppy, but he could be awfully bossy. Hans didn't care. He seemed to feel that Spirit could do no wrong.
I miss the way Spirit could simply cast a look in the direction of a misbehaving young dog and they would immediately straighten up and look to him for direction. Without ever having been in any kind of altercation with another dog, for all the years of his life, he was the strongest alpha dog I have ever known. He did it with a glance, or what we referred to as "the silent snarl". It was simply a curled lip, accompanied by an intense stare. If we were on a walk and a dog followed us, Spirit would stop, and maybe, secretly flash the silent snarl. As soon as the other dog saw this it would change direction, or back off, whereupon Spirit would continue with us, looking back occasionally to be sure we were safe.
I miss how social he was with people he really liked, or loved. I liked how he dictated who should hold his leash. If the wrong person (most anyone but me) were to pick up his leash he would gently but firmly remove it from their hand and give it to the person he wanted to hold it.
Spirit & Quest with best friend, Dan, helping him with clean up at the RV barn construction.
Spirit ruled and he knew it. He did not need to flaunt it or act upon it, his expressions could be withering. I do not believe he was ever challenged. If he was, he just handled it in such a way that no one else was usually even aware of it. I used to call him the benevolent dictator. He truly made the rules and the only one he would occasionally check with was me. He decided when the younger dogs should not have something that belonged to me and he would remove it from their mouth and put it away.
When I took Quest and Spirit to try herding, Quest was very successful. Spirit had a different idea. His only concern was to keep those strange looking creatures away from me. He walked between us, his legs stiff and his tail up in dominance. He did fine with moving them, but as soon as he had them away from me, he just stood guarding me. I guess his attitude could be described as a live and let live attitude. As long as the sheep stayed away from me, he had no argument with them. At home it was a different story. If I called a dog, Spirit would watch it. If it did not make a move to come to me, he simply went after it and brought it to me. Had the herder seen him do that, she might have rated his herding abilities differently.
Spirit could glance at me from across a room and transmit his thought to me. I guess he was also able to pick up my thoughts, because when he acted on them, it was always something I wanted him to do, even if I had not yet voiced the wish to him. This kind of communication is not easy to learn to live without, once you have enjoyed it.
Spirit knew I made mistakes some times. I believe that is why he guarded me so attentively and sometimes double checked my actions. There were times he did not approve of my inattention. I think that is what caused him to appoint himself as Diva's guardian.
She was our elderly Standard Poodle. She was loosing her hearing and her eyesight. Spirit became her seeing-eye dog. He walked at her side, touching her shoulder with his body. The minute he positioned himself at her side she increased her gait and stepped confidently out with him. If he saw her stopped and looking about uncertainly, he would rush to her side and nuzzle her to let her know he was there. If she took a wrong turn in the park he ran to turn her around. If we walked in the evening, his coat was the bright white illumination she was able to see and take comfort from knowing he was there. As a true diva should, she expected him to take care of her and she insisted on it.
He left such a gaping hole in our lives. I am only just now thinking that the rest of the pack is picking up the slack, thanks to Spirit for training them so well. I know Quest really misses him. Quest was always kind of a happy-go-lucky dog and did not seem to have a desire to be an alpha dog. We had our alpha dog, so the rest of us could afford to be less responsible. Quest is very capable, but he rather enjoyed leaving that role to Spirit. So did I. Sometimes I watch Quest now and I feel that he would really like to be able to ask Spirit some questions. So would I. Spirit had a habit of just handling things himself. He was such a strong leader, we all just trusted him.
All my dogs are protective of me but there was something special about the way Spirit made me feel. If I had to go someplace dark or scary; if I had a problem to deal with; if I just needed a canine best friend to rest his muzzle on my knee; it was always Spirit that I looked to, and he was always there. Sometimes I realized he knew me better than I knew myself. There have been times when I really did not feel certain I could do it all without him. Guess he taught me well though. After a year without him, we are doing okay - not like everything is wonderful, but every few weeks, something might happen that makes me realize things are gradually improving. I would still give anything to have him back and I sometimes wonder if I will ever really feel whole again. There is that terrible empty place in my heart and the way my throat just closes when my eyes tear up with wanting to hold him in my arms. What wouldn't I give for a walk with him or a picnic....
Journey spent a lot of time copying Spirit.
Spirit was almost 14 years old when we got Journey. I did not know if Spirit was going to be up to raising another puppy. At first he seemed a little put off by all the puppies. That lasted about a day. Then the puppies began edging respectfully closer to him. I attempted to keep them from bothering him. Then I could see that he was enjoying them. He demanded respect and they gave it, instantly. They just knew. Even if they had not known, Quest and Pirate kept them from climbing on him.
Of all the puppies in the litter, Spirit chose Journey. I know he saw things in Journey that he considered important. He liked all the pups, but he seemed to share something with Journey, that was more akin to what he had with our other dogs. It pleased him when Journey chose to nap beside him. I guess he knew Journey fit in with our pack the best. Now that Spirit is gone, Journey has transfered his leader-respect to me and to Quest. Pirate and Journey are best buddies. I am glad that the first year of "firsts" is over. "Seconds" are not as noteworthy and eventually we will simply remember the action and not how many times we miss it. Things are working out ..... It is just that I miss my boy so very much, my great Spirit dog.
Spirit taking a nap in his tent. Sometimes he shared it, but it was his first.